The old cat is still there, and the new cat is still there too. And I am still here. As sad as always, as sad as I have never been. Trying to understand why. Why I cry, why I look so desperately for something I don't even care about. Too much for a Saturday afternoon. Too much for the sucking life I am condemned to live. Wishing to die. Wishing to find a way out of this hell. Wishing to vanish in the air, and not suffer anymore. Nobody suffers more than what is set. Suffering means that you are alive somebody said to me once. I don't wanna suffer any more, and if that means not being alive anymore, I'm ok with that.
